Updated: May 26
Stoners are always trying to find compatible people because it's more fun to share than to smoke alone. So if you’re wandering around looking for someone to smoke some herb with, then you better know how to identify a stoner. Just like a disclaimer, if you wander up to a non-smoker asking if they need to share your joint, you'll get some pretty weird reactions. There are a lot of reasons you might want to identify if someone is a stoner. Maybe you're suspicious of a co-worker, and you'd like someone to smoke for lunch breaks. You might want to have more buddies around to share weed with you when you're running out! Or maybe you're not actually smoking, and you're just nosy, trying to figure out if your kids, friends, or parents are smoking weeds. In any case, we've compiled this list of ways to find out if someone could be a pothead!
How to tell if someone is a stoner? 16 ways to identify a stoner
1. Stoner's eyes
It's not just redness, isn't it? It's about the lazy eyelids, the unfocused stars. Looking in the eyes of an individual can tell you tons – especially whether or not they smoke weed or not.
2. Ask for a lighter
If you're not sure if someone is a pothead or not, ask for a lighter. If you don't see them smoke, but they have a lighter to offer you, you're basically going to make sure they smoke weed. Be careful that you don't just ask someone to smoke cigarettes. But if they don't have that long-lasting smell of tobacco, then you almost certainly have a stoner nearby.
3. Look at the lighter
You know what I'm talking about here. Nearly every stoner uses the bottom of the lighter to push down the smoked bowl or stub out joints. For good measure, if the lighter's bottom sides have scratches, you know that they too use it as a bottle opener.
I also notice that stoners hate the lighter to have the safety device on. It is one of the first things when they buy it, they remove it. Be careful you are not about to ask for his lighter for a crackhead.
4. They smell like weed all the time
Could that be obvious anymore? If you're walking past someone who smells like skunk, you can bet they have no skunks living in their home. Chances are you've just found out that someone is a stoner. Be gentle and cautious when approaching. Don't be all like – “Hey you! You smell like a weed! ”The last thing you want to do is scare off someone who's your next potential smoking buddy.
5. They have an uncanny fascination with the number 420
If they are the only person at work who announces that the time is 4:20, I think you have a stoner in your workplace. If you notice someone taking their break every day at this time, that’s also a tell-tale sign. Look out for 420 stickers around their electronic items or on their musical instruments!
6. Ask them what kind of music they like
One of the easiest ways to tell if someone is a stoner is to check their music collection. It has almost never failed me. Stoners are quite eclectic, but they love to talk about music. And you can almost bet that every stoner has a vendetta against pop music. If the answer is Miley Cyrus or Bruno Mars, you probably aren’t talking to a pothead. So run – run as fast as you can. On the other hand, stoners love bands like Tool and Audioslave. Of course, they love their stoner music too, like Bob Marley and stoner rap!
7. They keep repeating themselves
Stoners often forget, halfway through a conversation, what they said at the start of a conversation. They might also forget the events that happened a few days ago or the conversations that you simply shared in the past. Ding! Ding! You found yourself a pothead!
8. Ask to use their computer and check their browsing history
OK, this is a little bit of a detective game now. It's probably how my mother recognized that I smoked weed — apart from all the other ways that it's easy to tell. If you're a stoner, you know what kind of online stoner culture is! If the word "bong" is even used once in their Google search history, writing is on the wall.
9. You met them at 7-11
If you met them at 7-11 after midnight, don't even bother looking for other symptoms of stoner-dom. You have found your stoner buddy for the night. At this stage of your stoner career, you should be able to tell the difference between a drunk and a stoned person. If it's obvious they're not drunk, but they're holding donuts and chips in their hands, then just ask them if they'd like to smoke a joint with you. Your detective work has been done!
10. They hold a cigarette like a joint
I love this one! If your secret stoner is smoking a cigarette but holding it like a blunt or a joint, you've only found yourself a stoner! Cigarette smokers have never been taught the way to hold a joint unless they are already a joint smoker.
11. They're always hungry or ready for a nap
The two things stoners love most are food and sleep. And as a stoner, you're supposed to be very conversant in that. If that person always complains that they're hungry or they want a piece of cake, you know you're probably talking to a pothead! Also, if whenever you ask how they are doing they’ll reply with “tired” or “ready to possess a day nap”, then they probably smoked a bowl not all that long ago.
12. Use your stoner sixth sense
Your stoner senses are very powerful. It's almost a technique of self-preservation for stoners that we do without even realizing it. We're just naturally gravitating to other stoners, an equivalent way that those "right wings" kind of gravitate to other right-wingers. Trust your instincts! If you feel that a "friend" is nearby, it's probably because they are. Personally, I think this is the best way to tell if someone is a pothead. It's using the psychic abilities that marijuana has given you to be able to reach out to other users of marijuana.
13. Light up a joint near a stoner and see if their neck snaps
I love sitting in the park and lighting up a joint. Some people look with a peeved look on their faces. They're not the stoners you're looking for. But if you see someone's neck-snapping in your direction as if they just smelled the nearby gods of marijuana, you can bet they smoke weed. This is especially true if they won't stop turning around to look at you or try to make eye contact with you. This is their psychic way of asking you to go over there and offer some of your joints.
14. Nothing ever really matters to them
If you find that it's really hard to piss someone off, chances are they're calm because they smoke weed. Umm, the same could be true if they were on opium – but I'm sure you'll notice the difference. Weed smokers are so chill and nothing really matters to them. If you're late, it usually just means they've got a couple more minutes to sneak in a bowl.
15. The stoner stereotype
To be honest, I hate stereotyping, but sometimes it's necessary. I use stereotyping to find weed in foreign countries sometimes or in cities that I've never been to before. It is almost embarrassing to admit that dreadlocks are almost guaranteed. There will always be a moment when the stereotype fails, if it meets other criteria on the list, then this may be the confirmation. Do they always wear tie-dyed clothes? Is it a white person with dreadlocks? Are they playing hacky sacks or juggling in the park? It's a reasonably safe thing to say,
someone might be a pothead.
16. Just ask!
The best way to tell if someone may be a stoner is to ask them. Don't be shy of asking. Most of the people are fine with it as long as they're not your boss or a police officer. Before asking, you should use your common sense. You don't have to ask your friend's mom if she smokes weed. But don't hesitate to ask the cute girl behind the bar. She's just going to say no if she's not. Plus, stoners appreciate openness and honesty, so if they're a stoner, you're going to get brownie points because you're the one who broke the ice.
Always remember that the majority of people are going to be more freaked out by you playing a detective than just asking. They might notice you checking them out, and they'll ask you before you ask them!
Check: 23 Types of stoners